The Prison Is in Your Mind—And the Key Is Already in Your Pocket
(Inspired by Dr. Edith Eger’s The Choice)

Recently, I revisited The Choice by Dr. Edith Eger, and once again, it left a deep imprint on my heart and my coaching practice. Dr. Eger’s story—of surviving the unimaginable and choosing healing over hate—reminds us of a powerful truth: we may not choose what happens to us, but we can always choose how we respond.

Her story is extraordinary—full of pain, resilience, and ultimately, freedom. But what struck me most wasn’t just what she lived through, but how she chose to heal.

One phrase that truly resonated with me was her reminder that:

“Love is spelled T.I.M.E.”

Giving ourselves time—to feel, to reflect, to process—isn’t a luxury. It’s essential. In a culture that celebrates busyness and productivity, taking time for your inner world can feel indulgent… even selfish. But it’s not. It’s foundational.

In my coaching work, I see again and again how powerful it is when someone truly takes the time—for themselves, for healing, for growth. Whether it’s a 60-minute coaching session, a quiet walk in nature, or simply journaling before bed, these small moments of intentional time become acts of self-love and emotional healing. They’re where clarity begins. Where mindset shifts take root. Where we remember who we are underneath the noise.

The Key to Freedom Is Already in Your Pocket

Dr. Eger also speaks to another profound truth:

“The biggest prison is in your mind. And in your pocket, you already hold the key.”

This couldn’t align more closely with how I coach. Because so often, the real barriers holding us back aren’t external—they’re the stories we’ve come to believe. Stories like:
I’m not enough.
I don’t deserve better.
It’s too late for me.

These stories aren’t who we are—they’re often who we learned to be in order to stay safe, accepted, or in control. But over time, they become mental prisons of limiting beliefs, internalised fear, shame, or stories we’ve been told (or told ourselves) for years. And the beautiful, transformative truth is this: you already hold the key.

My role as a transformational coach isn’t to give you the answers or hand you the key. It’s to walk beside you as you remember where you placed the key. Together, we explore what’s been keeping you stuck, what wants to shift, and what’s possible on the other side of the story. My role is simply to help you find the courage to reach into your pocket, pull out the key, and unlock the next version of yourself.

Victimhood vs. Victim Identity: A Crucial Distinction

One of Dr. Eger’s most powerful teachings is:

“Victimhood is a story—and stories can be rewritten.”
“You can’t heal what you can’t feel.”

She draws a powerful distinction between being a victim—something that happens to us—and choosing a victim identity, which is something we carry forward. And this nuance is so important—not just in trauma work, but in everyday emotional growth.

Being a victim means something real and painful happened to you. You were mistreated. Ignored. Hurt. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t your fault. Naming that is a crucial part of healing.

But where many of us get understandably stuck is when we begin to build an identity around the pain. We start to internalise beliefs like:

“Because this happened, I am broken. I’m unlovable. I’m powerless. I’ll always be this way.”

That’s the victim identity—and it can quietly shape how we see ourselves and our future. It often shows up in thoughts like:

• “This always happens to me.”

• “No one ever sees me.”

• “There’s no point in trying.”

• “I can’t trust anyone.”

These beliefs are often valid responses to past pain. But they don’t have to become permanent truths.

In transformational coaching, we gently explore the difference between what happened and what you’re still carrying. We honour your experiences—and then we begin the process of rewriting the story:

From “I was powerless” to “I survived.”
From “I’m too damaged” to “I’m healing.”
From “This is just how I am” to “What if there’s another way?”

This shift from victim identity to self-authorship isn’t about denying the past. It’s about reclaiming your power in the present. And it can be one of the most liberating moments of your healing journey.

A Mindset Shift Begins with One Small Act of Time

If any of this speaks to you—if you’re sensing a readiness, a shift, or a desire to reconnect with who you really are—you don’t have to figure it out all at once.

The process starts with one small act of time. A moment to pause. A conversation with someone who believes in your potential. A gentle look inward.

And if you’d like support on that journey, I’m here—with curiosity, compassion, and the belief that your greatest freedom is already within reach.

Want to explore what’s possible for you?
Book a free chemistry call. Let’s talk about what you’re holding, what you’re ready to release, and what wants to come next.