When I Get There, Things Will Be Better…

When I get through this week, things will calm down.

When I’ve finished this project, I’ll have more time.

When I’ve sorted this out, I’ll feel better.

When I get there…

I think many of us have had versions of these thoughts.

And sometimes they’re true. There are busy weeks, difficult periods and things that genuinely do need to be got through.

But what happens when we get there and there’s another there waiting?

Another deadline.

Another problem to sort.

Another thing that needs our attention.

The finishing line moves again.

Always looking ahead

It’s easy to get into the habit of looking towards the next point when things will supposedly feel easier.

We can spend a lot of time thinking about what’s next without really noticing what’s happening now.

And often, we’re still functioning perfectly well.

We’re working, looking after people, making decisions, replying to messages, getting things done.

Life can look absolutely fine from the outside.

Yet underneath there can be a quieter feeling:

Why don’t I feel as though I’m enjoying any of this?

We can become very good at managing

Over the years, I’ve sat alongside people who are incredibly capable.

They solve problems. Adapt. Keep going. Look after other people.

And those are real strengths.

But being good at managing life doesn’t necessarily tell us how we’re feeling within it.

Sometimes we’ve been moving from one thing to the next for so long that we haven’t had much space to notice.

What is taking so much of my energy?

What am I looking forward to?

What am I putting off until life gets quieter?

What actually matters to me at the moment?

And perhaps one of the more uncomfortable questions:

What if life doesn’t suddenly become quieter?

The finishing line keeps moving

There can be another layer to this too.

Sometimes the there we’re chasing isn’t simply the end of a busy week.

It might be:

When I get the promotion.

When I lose the weight.

When the children need me less.

When I meet someone.

When I have more money.

When I feel more confident.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting things to change or having something to work towards.

But it can be interesting to notice how much we’re attaching to getting there.

What are we expecting it to give us?

Relief?

Confidence?

Permission to rest?

A sense that we’ve finally done enough?

Perhaps even the feeling that we’re enough?

That’s something I’d be curious about in coaching.

Not whether the goal is right or wrong, but what we believe is waiting for us on the other side of it.

Coaching doesn’t give you another finishing line

For me, coaching isn’t about adding another goal to the list.

It’s not about telling someone they need to slow down, practise gratitude or appreciate what they have.

Life is rarely that simple.

Instead, coaching can give us somewhere to stop managing everything for a moment and hear ourselves think.

To notice what keeps appearing.

To explore what we’re chasing and why it matters.

To recognise what’s draining us.

To question some of the expectations we’ve been carrying.

And perhaps to become clearer about what we actually want, rather than continually moving towards the next thing.

What might change?

It doesn’t mean we stop having goals or looking forward to things.

But perhaps we begin to notice when we’re putting too much of our life on hold until we reach them.

That might mean making a decision we’ve been avoiding.

Recognising a boundary.

Changing an expectation.

Making space for something that matters to us now.

Or simply understanding ourselves a little better.

Because there will probably always be another week, another deadline, another thing to sort out.

And maybe the question isn’t only:

When will I get there?

But also:

What am I missing while I’m trying to get there?

A space to explore

If some of this feels familiar, coaching can offer a space to slow things down, hear yourself think and explore what’s going on beneath the busyness.

I work with adults who may be managing well on the outside, but underneath feel overwhelmed, disconnected, stuck or unsure of what they want next.

I offer a free chemistry call if you’d like to explore what coaching might offer you. It’s simply a chance for us to meet, talk about what’s bringing you to coaching and see whether working together feels right.